Introspective Insanity
by Victory to the Shard
Summary: One-shot. What is reality, anyways? Such a difficult question. Especially when one is in an asylum on a fictional world.


They don't believe me. They never do. I told them, I told them. I think it was a year ago… a year ago that it all started. That all this started. Such normality. And then confusion and chaos. And… and… I told people. It's all just a game. It's not real. Just… just a game. But the pain… the pain and the confusion. It's real. But… but this isn't real. It can't be. It's all just a mistake. I think. Wait, what's the mistake? Who made it… I think I made it. Yes. Yes, I made the mistake of telling people. How could I be so foolish as to think anyone would believe me? If someone had come to me and told me that I'm not real and they are… and that the whole world is just a… just a game… I would've went for help. Mental help for them. And so they did this for me. TO me, I mean. It's not their fault. It's not their fault I approached this matter so… so not delicately. Not their fault I resisted when the guards came for me. I still have a scar on my arm from that one spear. The one that I didn't notice while I struggled.

I don't know how long it's been. I don't…. know. I thought I knew things. But things were… different. Everything is so much bigger, more impressive, lifelike… so much more… _real_… and the people are real, too. They don't just accept the ludicrous easily. Well, they do, but only the thing I would consider ludicrous. Deadly plants and rock-people are normal here. Being a game… that's just insane. Or so they think. Or maybe I'm the insane one. I've been here so long I… just don't know anymore. Maybe they're right. Maybe I need to get these crazy thoughts out of my head.

But… the dreams. They were so real. I _know_ they weren't dreams. They were too detailed, too lengthy, too alive and organic. There was so much unimaginable here… so much. How could my mind, no matter how disturbed, fabricate and name in logical fashion all that I recall? Cars, computers, video games… but… maybe I'm just not from here. Nobody recognizes me. Perhaps I do come from a land with some of these things, and I made up the rest myself. Maybe these dreams really are a warped version of reality.

I don't want to think such thoughts, I really don't. But… thinking is all I can do down here. Guards aren't big on conversation. Books are not allowed to me. The people that want to help me… so laughably unaware… thinking I'm possessed by a demon… or something. There's no television… nothing to do except sit and think. And eat sometimes. And sleep. But that's all. Nothing… and so I think. And thinking the same thoughts grows tiresome quickly. And it accomplishes nothing. So I naturally wander to new subjects. There's only so much to think on if I have nothing to do _but_ think.

I asked the guard how long I've been here just now. He told me it's been nearly two years. I don't know if time is the same between these two lands, but… but it seems accurate if I consider. My body is adult now, and was teenaged when I was sent here. So I guess he's right. I think. Or is my guard a she? I can no longer tell the difference. I have no… point of reference. All I know are rare glimpses of myself, and even rarer bits of conversation with the guards or… or whatever the people that wish to help me are called. They're not psychologists or psychiatrists. I confused them when I called them that. I wonder what they are? Exorcists?

The guard tells me I'm mumbling to myself. Says he's sorry about all this and wishes he could do something for me. I'm not mumbling my thoughts now, but I am telling the guard about how he can tell me what's going on in the outside world recently. It would make me feel better. And even now, I continue to think. I've been thinking so long, and so hard, I can't stop, even as I maintain a conversation with another living being. Even as I am told of odd events. The castle guards are investigating a break-in. A weird one. Nobody was hurt, nothing was stolen… but wet footsteps have been found leading from a drain towards the courtyard. And the ranch owner saw a green-clad kid hanging out inside the castle. He didn't think anything of it, but since he was on the castle grounds, people talked to him, to see if he saw anything odd. The kid counts, since the ranch owner is the only person whom saw him… and a memory whispers to me that they're wrong. Two other people saw him, but neither of them will speak of the matter.

I don't say anything to the guard though. I'm just the crazy girl. Why would I know anything? Especially when I've been predicting an absurd future the entire time everyone's known me. And I couldn't possibly have been near that castle for nearly two years. Or maybe my entire life. Did I ever come to the castle? Or was that in my dreams?

I'm not sure I can tell the difference anymore. I'm not even sure there _is_ a difference anymore.

But that could be my craziness talking.

The guard also tells me the green-clothed kid was reported as heading to Death Mountain by the gate guard there. The kid had a letter signed by Zelda, giving him permission. The princess hasn't been questioned yet. Everybody thinks the kid forged it, or someone else forged it for him. Zelda's too sweet and innocent, yet smart, to do something so stupid and adult.

So why do they think the kid is any more conniving?

I don't know. This isn't the world I thought it was. It's not innocent. It's not oblivious. It's not-

I'm mumbling to myself again. The guard is sorry I've had a hard life. Seems to think my parents weren't nice to me. Come to think of it, I think he's right. Not sure though. It could just be dreams I'm thinking of here. Then again, maybe the dreams are reality? Maybe I'm asleep and the dreams are the real me doing things? It's like… like that butterfly dreaming itself a man thing. Or whatever it was. Was that real? I don't know. I don't think it matter. Philosophy isn't about reality anyways, so why does it matter if it's real or not itself?

Why is a teenager with a sword suspicious but not a kid in green with an oversized knife? I ask you. I don't know who 'you' is, but I ask them nonetheless, because everybody was leery of me, but… but the kid has things so easy.

Doesn't he?

No… no no no. This is not the world I thought it was. I already said that. He's probably treated with equal suspicion.

Or… or maybe they think the knife is a toy, since they never see it unsheathed. Or so I would expect. The kid's innocent, not stupid.

And how could I even _think_ of him as having an easy life? He has to fight monsters, get swallowed by gods, solve puzzles… and… and other things. At age ten. TEN. And then he does more stuff like it, killing dragons, fending off phantoms, battling sorceress twins… defeating the epitome of evil itself, even. At age seventeen.

I'm truly mad to have thought for even a moment that he has an easy life. His parents _died_. Just because I didn't like my life, that doesn't mean everyone else has it easy. Right? But is that even a life… or was it a dream?

I keep thinking that. Coming back to that. I don't trust my senses. I don't know if reality is a dream or if the dreams are reality. Or maybe it's all a game. Just like I claimed this world to be.

Maybe I should admit my mistake. I was wrong. This couldn't be a game. It can't be… it's too real. And… and…

I did it again. Two days passed and I didn't even notice until just now. I am truly… truly mad. Or perhaps they drug me? Maybe… maybe I needed a lot of sleep. Or I died. Died for… but a moment. A short time, so short nobody realized I was dead.

Mad thoughts. Truly mad thoughts.

But if I realize I'm insane, doesn't that mean I'm not? I mean… if I can consider for even a moment the possibility that I'm insane, does that not mean I actually have a grasp on reality, that even I can see how it would make sense for me to be insane? Or is this a false hope?

The current guard is talking. I think she (He?) is just muttering to herself. Not actually carrying on a conversation. Something about… about a fish. And a green kid. No, no… a green _clothed_ kid. And… he saved the fish. And saved a princess fish. She… she gave away the… 'Zora Sapphire'. Oh… oh. It's happening. Oh god. (Goddesses?) It's happening… I really am sane.

I'm going to die.

Ga… Gannondorf… he's going to kill me. No… I'm not important. His troops will kill me. Or I'll starve when my guards are killed, and nobody knows little old me is here.

Oh god… I wish I _was_ insane. I'd be miserable… miserable and still terribly, terribly confused… but everybody else would be fine. So very… very fine… and happy… mostly, anyways. Nothing wrong, nothing at all, just… just a crazy girl claiming everything's going to Hell soon.

For once in my life, I'm going to hate being right. This isn't a fairytale land of happy and joy and… things. When things go wrong, people will suffer. And die. And suffer… things will go so wrong. This won't be 'everybody's sad but managing fine, and Link will save us all'. It'll be… real. If… if he succeeds, it will be as if nothing happened, but… but what if he doesn't? What if…

Is… is it raining?

Oh god.

Think happy thoughts. Link… Link will make it all right. I'll… I'll be fine, and everybody else will be fine. I just need to… to wait, and it'll be as if nothing happened. That's all. I'll go back to being the crazy girl, and… and everybody else will be happy. And joyful. And innocently oblivious to horror.

Just… have… to… wait…

It… it's been… so long now. I don't know how long, truly I don't. But it's been… a while. The guards were killed. I wasn't. I don't know why, but I and the other people here were kept alive. In fact… in fact, every few days a few people are taken away. I don't know why, but they usually sound happy to be walking beside… beside Moblins and… and other things. I… I hear something about knuckles… sometimes… and iron… but I don't know what's being done with them. They seem so… so eager, though. As though… they want to do this…

I talked… to a Moblin once. (Why do I capitalize their name in my thoughts? Reflex?) It… was surprisingly cheerful and nice, actually. It… reminded me of the guard from so long ago. The one that wanted to help me. So much so, in fact, that I found myself talking… talking to it a lot. It seemed so interested in what I had to say, despite my apparent insanity. It even told me a little about the outside world… I didn't have to ask. It was… nice…. So nice to have someone to talk to, even if it was so obviously… inhuman. And a minion of Gannondorf's, too.

I have to wonder, though, what Moblins… _are_. Where they came from… they just appeared out of nowhere once Gannondorf came to power. They didn't exist before then. Where'd they come from? What are they, exactly?

I suppose it doesn't really matter, though. Not to me, at any rate. I'm just going to rot in this asylum the rest of my life. Or maybe be taken away to do… whatever it is the others were taken off to do.

I think it's been… five years now…. Since… since Gannondorf took over. I don't know, though. And…

Gannondorf. He's… talking to me. I don't know why. Something… about getting to know his subjects better, so he can be a better ruler. But… but… I can't remember what came after 'but'. It… was important, though. He… I'm talking. I'm talking to him. I'm feeling dread… and I don't know why. My memory is… is… is what? My memory is… something. Something important. But I can't remember. And I feel like I should. And…

Why am I telling him these things? I don't want to live in this cell anymore. Making it clear to my ruler… ruler? Wait, what? That sounds… that sounds wrong. Gannondorf isn't… why am I telling him of my insane ideas? If I want out of here, I shouldn't be telling him these things.

And why do I suddenly want out so desperately? I mean… I didn't like this place before… but… I feel like I'm trapped now, and I have to get out. The walls seem to close in on me as I talk with Lord Gannondorf. My voice is tinged with a slight note of desperation. I'm speaking and thinking more coherently than ever. But I find myself… stalling. Sometimes. And I don't know why.

And… the great Lord Gannondorf smiles as he listens. He smiles so patiently. And he nods when I pause in apprehension, unwilling to continue, encouraging me. And… now I tell him of things. Things even worse than my insane ideas that have come to pass. Now I tell him of things that will come… and… and other things. About my family, and friends, and my… my dream world. And I tell him about how I used to believe it was a real world, but the nice people here showed me I was wrong. And he smiles a bit more, and encourages me to continue, genuinely interested in my tale.

I feel as though something is off here. But what? The great and glorious Lord Gannondorf is a loving, generous man, after all. This is normal behavior for him. Only traitors are murdered… not… not innocents. My head hurts. And the ever-perceptive and ingenious Lord Gannondorf comforts me, telling me the headache will go away in a few minutes, after giving me a… a what? He gave me something… I think. It'll make the headache go away, though.

And…

And…

Lord Gannondorf offers me a chance to join his royal guard, to protect his personage from all those whom would seek to ruin the kingdom. And I accept, for what good citizen would deny a chance to aid the kingdom? Not I, certainly. This nagging sensation is irrelevant. I am a good citizen. I will protect my kingdom, and my King. It will be so.

He laughs as we leave. I ask him why, and he says it's… a surprise he has planned for an old friend. I smile at the great and glorious Lord Gannondorf's good mood, as we walk towards his castle. If the King of Evil is happy, all of Evil is happy.

Where did that thought come from?

Lord Gannondorf is happy once more. The worst traitor to the kingdom is dead, and the last remnants of resistance to his glorious rule are being stamped out even as I think. It is a bad habit of mine that I need to remedy sometime, this thinking. The King is a genius. He thinks for all of us. That is why I must eliminate this bad habit. Thinking leads to independence. Independence leads to false thoughts and foolish ideas… which leads to becoming a traitor. This kingdom has no room for traitors. I've aided this policy several times with my axe, as Lord Gannondorf commanded me too. The farm girl was executed by my hand in Lord Gannondorf's name. The shadow rebel, this… Sheik… was defeated by Lord Gannondorf himself. None can stand before the righteous and win, after all, and my Lord Gannondorf is truly in the right.

My Lord is currently in contemplation. With the power of the goddesses available to him, he is currently determining how best to use this gift stolen by the traitors so long ago.

Ah… he has decided. More lands will be shown the error of their ways and all will be made happy. Lord Gannondorf's envisioned paradise is truly glorious. He has assigned me to kill a traitorous family of fools.

Funny… they looked familiar.

No time for that though. Ganon's will must be brought across the…

Who is Ganon?

A/N: The concept of real people being transported into a fictional world is always fascinating, but really, when the real people claim that, where they came from, this is all fictional, wouldn't that seem totally and completely insane? And they always tell it to people that can easily overpower them and bring them to an asylum or something...


End file.
